I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
