Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
