: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
