Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
