so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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