Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
