I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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