You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
