your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
