Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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