Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
