We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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