I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
