k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
