Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize