Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
