No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
