So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
