mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
