I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
