how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
