So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
