Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
