why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
