i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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