he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
