very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
