We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
