Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am one with the molecules
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize