Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize