I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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