I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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