got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
