i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
