There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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