i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
