First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
