i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
