S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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