She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
