Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
