you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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