I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
