trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
