well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
