just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
