East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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