Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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