I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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