people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
