I wanna bring you to show and tell
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if only i could text you this smell
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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