remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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