i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
