So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
