So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
