I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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